Love Our SOX Corny Joke Thread

  • Quote of the Day - "I keep myself amused and others confused" ~ Benedict Cumberbatch

How much coffee could a groundhog grind if a groundhog could grind coffee?
 
I'll revive this thread: ... So Paddy goes into his local pub in Dublin, sits at the bar by himself, and orders 3 shots of Bushmills. "Do ye have friends coming then?" asked the bartender. "No, no, not at all," says Paddy. "Well then, I can put 'e'm in one glass for ye," says the bartender. "No, it's 3 separate shots I'm wanting. The other two are for me dear brudders who are off to Amerikay these many years," says Paddy. This goes on for several weeks, then one day, Paddy comes in and orders 2 shots. "Oh my, are ye after having bad news from Amerikay then?" asks the bartender sadly. "Ah no," says Paddy, "the lads are fine. It's just meself has given up the drink."
 
Here's a little known Cliff Clavinism fact: the Volkswagen automobile "Karmann Ghia" actually means "Fateful Clarified Butter" in Sanskrit.
 
Q: What do you get if you cross water vapor with an amphibian?
A: Kermist the Fog! 🐸
 
Conversely, I doubt that God has ever proven the existence of philosophers and scientists either.
 
"I went to a restaurant that serves 'Breakfast any time'. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."
~ Steven Wright
 
What do Brain Surgeons and Rocket Scientists say when something is so completely mind-numbingly simple?
 
Would you R.S.V.P. an invite to the N*zi Party? And what kinda wine would you bring? Definitely not Manischewitz®.
 
I asked my French model girlfriend what she thought would be the name of a good Chinese-French fusion restaurant? But of course ~ "Měi Wèi"!

(When I first came up with that joke, I just figured it would be funny because "mais oui" in French [pronounced "may we"] simply means "but yes". Now here is the truly strange part [sometimes I amaze even myself]: the Chinese sound-alike words "美" [close enough to "may"/"mais"] and "位" [close enough to "we"/"oui"] together mean "beautiful place".)
 
HarpoSF said:
I asked my French model girlfriend what she thought would be the name of a good Chinese-French fusion restaurant? But of course ~ "Měi Wèi"!

(When I first came up with that joke, I just figured it would be funny because "mais oui" in French [pronounced "may we"] simply means "but yes". Now here is the truly strange part [sometimes I amaze even myself]: the Chinese sound-alike words "美" [close enough to "may"/"mais"] and "位" [close enough to "we"/"oui"] together mean "beautiful place".)
Click to expand...
Does Frank Sinatra eat there? "I ate at Měiiiiiiiiiiii Wèiiiiiiiiiiiiii"
 
Frosty the Snowman is sitting up against a tree on a snowy day. Along comes a hot looking Blonde elf who sits down beside him. She then gets on her knees and starts to bend over toward Frosty's middle area and suddenly stops. She says, "Frosty, it melted".
 
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
~ Henny Youngman
 
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