Love Our SOX Corny Joke Thread

  • Quote of the Day - "I keep myself amused and others confused" ~ Benedict Cumberbatch

Is it just me, or is “ubiquitous” being used too much now-a-days? You see it everywhere.

(Much like “superfluous” is an entirely dispensable, redundantly supererogatory, completely inessential, needlessly excessive, overly gratuitous, and absolutely repetitiously unnecessary word.)
 
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and
says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So, the first blonde hands her the compact. The second blonde looks in the
mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
 
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think." ~ Dorothy Parker

(mebbe I done shoulda left that one for Phil to use at the top of this site another day... )
 
It takes a few broken eggs to make an omelette… or before they finally kick you out of the produce section for poor juggling skills.
 
Does a Yuletide's ebb and flow depend on a December Moon’s gravitational pull?
 
Mahatma Gandhi always walked around barefoot for which he developed extremely hard calluses on his feet. Because of his strange vegetarian diet, he ended up with weak bones and usually wreaked of bad breath. I guess you might say that he was a "super-calloused, fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis".
(You can thank Tommy Magliozzi at Car Talk for that terrible joke, Miss Poppins.)
 
Little known science fact: Alfred Einstein was Albert's lesser known and not quite as smart younger brother. Alfred was the one that formulated in the late 1980's the Theory of Relative Stupidity, "E = mc Hammer".
 
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“Why does man kill? He kills for food.
And not only food; frequently there must be a beverage.”
~ Woody Allen
 
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