Love Our SOX Corny Joke Thread

[HarpoSF]

(I figure, seeing as it is officially the Off-Season, might as well fill it with some utter silliness. I will start with one of my All-Time Favourite Corny [and perfectly suitable for all ages and groups] Jokes of All-Time.)

 


A Grizzly Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "I'll have a Rum and...


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...


...


...


...


...


...


...


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... and Coke!"

 


The bartender asks him: "Why the long pause?"

 


The big ol' bruin looks at his over-sized mitts and says: "I don't know. I was just born with 'em."

 


http://instantrimshot.com/

 

[HarpoSF]

A drunk bumps into a lady with a duck under her arms and says, "What an ugly pig!"

 


The lady sticks her nose in the air and says, "It is a 'duck', not a 'pig', you drunkard!"

 


The drunk answers back, "I was talkin' to the duck!"

 

[philthepat]

How have we gone all this time on here without this thread?

Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?

He went to jail for Oolong time.

 

[CabanaBoyKen]

What kind of computer sings the best?

A Dell

 

[philthepat]

 

[splinter46]

I have a dog with no legs so every night I take him out for a drag.

 

[HarpoSF]

How have we gone all this time on here without this thread?

Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?

He went to jail for Oolong time.

Sorry, that one will be stolen and reposted on defacedbook in one of my old Air Force Squadron groups. Those old b*stages love corn-bally jokes!

 

[loyalsoxfan2]

Why was the broom late?

It oversWept! :woo2:

 

[HarpoSF]

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo is a dog. It's a Shih Tzu.

 

[HarpoSF]

Germany is now advising people to stock up on sausages and cheese. This is called "the Wurst-Käse" scenario.

 

[soxtrot3]

Why did the bike fall over? It was two tired.

 

[loyalsoxfan2]

Where can a burger get a good night sleep?

On a bed of lettuce

 

[splinter46]

A duck walks into a bar wearing only one shoe. The bartender says “looks like you lost a shoe.” “No”, says the duck, “I found one.”

 

[splinter46]

A boy was on the corner selling fish. To get people’s attention he’d yell ‘dam fish for sale.’ A preacher stopped and asked him why he says that. The boy tells him he caught them by the local dam so the preacher bought a few. He got home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish. “Why does a man like you talk that way?” So he tells her the story. At the dinner table he asks his son to pass him the dam fish. His son says “That’s the spirit dad now pass me the f*cking potatoes.”

 

[DemonessBaby]

What does a blonde say after she gives birth?

You sure it's mine?

 

[Takket]

Rudy Guiliani walks into a store selling hair care products.........

that's it. that's the joke

 

[splinter46]

When I was 10 my parents called me into their room. My Mom said “Splinter, your Dad and I are getting a divorce, you have to pick which one of us you want to live with.” I said I want to live with Dad. “He said “I don’t want a divorce anymore.”

 

[HarpoSF]

Two old guys are drinking in a bar. One says, "Did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

 


"Awww, cr*p!", says his friend, "and I only joined the VFW."

 

[splinter46]

A buddy of mine told me he takes all his clothes off and smears peanut butter all over his front then his dog comes and licks it all off. I said hold on, you need to get yourself a girlfriend. I told him I’d trade him mine for that dog. : )

 

[HarpoSF]

Q. Did you see the show about metal fasteners?


A. It was riveting.